TMI Thursday: Bet you didn’t know THIS could happen!

***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s! Read more here!

I’m baaaaack!!! You know you missed me!

Hopefully no one that doesn’t need to, stumbles upon this and tells mommy dearest I am posting this picture…

If you don’t like gross pics.. don’t scroll all the way down! I’m warning you!

If you read my blog on a somewhat regular basis, you may know that my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer a year ago in August. She had a bilateral mastectomy (removal of both breasts) and so far is cancer free! YAY! About a month or 2 ago, my mom had her reconstructive surgery. In order to enlarge her breasts, she had fake implants, if you will, put in to stretch the skin after her mastectomy. They were hard as rocks, and could be pumped up as needed to get larger and larger.

Every man’s dream right? Inflatable breasts?

Anyboob. Once they were of adequate size, the stretchers were removed and implants were inserted to make them more realistic and squishy.

Well… last week, I get a call at 3am from my sister telling me that mom’s boob had split open and the implant was sticking out and they are taking her to the emergency room.

So a little education lesson:

Apparently when you have lots and lots of radiation it weakens the skin.

Capillaries that supply blood to the skin sometimes don’t grow back.

Skin is thin and not as tough as it was before…

Apparently it happens A LOT. Even with normal boob jobs. They just rip open and spill out silicone and grossness.

That being said… Her boob ripped open… you can SEE the implant. It was bleeding. and gross. and i wanted to throw up.

I love you Mommy!

here you go!

Ready?

..

…

….

…..

……

…….

……..

……….

…………

…………..

……………..

Maybe you don’t think it is THAT gross.. and that’s good! But I do!

***I would also like to point out that I think breast cancer is very serious!! And I am in no way trying to make this situation inappropriately comical, but somtimes you just have to laugh a little.. it helps with the recovery!!***

Oh wait. Yes I am.

<3

Baked Pepperoni Dip and bread dippers

So I am going to try to post at least 1 recipe a week on here. Let’s see how it goes!

This dip is amazing. It always seems to disappear before I can even set it on the counter to cool.

For dipping in the dip, I recommend buying New York Style- Garlic Bagel Chips (DON’T BUY THE MINI ONES! They’re too small). Plain ones work too.. but I like the garlicy-ness. You want something firm that isn’t going to get mushy- this dip is a cheesy dip so you want a heavy duty scooper!

You can also make bread to eat with the dip. We use this recipe for bruschetta bread too.(I will post my bruschetta recipe another time! It is delicious!!)

Bread Dippers:

You will need:

• Pre-sliced Italian bread from your bakery section, or slice some Italian bread yourself (about 1/4 inch thick).
  *Depending on loaf size, you may only use half of the loaf. Try baking half first, then if you want more, use the rest*
• 1 clove of fresh garlic, sliced lengthwise
• olive oil
• garlic powder
• white pepper
• aluminum foil

What to do:

1. Set your broiler on high, and cover a baking sheet or broiler pan with aluminum foil
2. In a small bowl pour about 1/2 cup of olive oil then sprinkle a couple shakes of garlic powder and white pepper into the olive oil. Mix with basting brush.
3. Lay bread slices in one layer on baking sheet
4. With basting brush, brush a thin layer of olive oil mixture over each bread slice, making sure to cover each slice entirely, but not soak. Flip slices over and repeat on other side.
5. Place bread under broiler until the slices begin to brown, about 2-4 minutes depending on your broiler. Keep an eye on them!! They will burn fast!!
6. Stab one slice of garlic with a fork and rub the garlic, cut side down, all over the top of the bread. Flip slices over, broil and rub with garlic.
7. If slices are large, cut in half. Otherwise, place on a serving platter and set aside.

**If you run out of olive oil, you can simply replenish the oil in the bowl. The garlic powder and pepper usually sink to the bottom.

Now for the best part!!

Pepperoni Dip:

What you will need. Minus the cheese.

You will need:

• 1 8oz packaged sliced pepperoni
• 1 can Campbells Cream of Mushroom w/Roasted Garlic Soup
• 1 8 oz block of cream cheese, softened (about 30-45 minutes out on the counter will do)
• 3/4 cup Shredded Mozzarella and/or Cheddar Cheese (mix them or use just one), plus some for sprinkling on top later.
• Italian Seasoning
• Garlic Powder (optional)
• Onion Powder (optional)

What to do:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. Chop entire bag of pepperoni into small pieces, place into bowl.
   
3. Place Cream of Mushroom soup and softened cream cheese into bowl.
   
4. Shake some Italian seasoning in bowl. I never measure this.. so you can add as much as you want. I would guesstimate that I usually use about 1- 1 1/2 teaspoons.
5. Give the bowl a couple shakes of garlic powder  and onion powder (about 1/4 teaspoon each. More if you like one or the other.)
6. Mix all ingredients together until all clumps of cream cheese are incorporated. Small clumps are ok, but no big chunks.
7. Combine the shredded cheese (3/4 cup) with the ingredients and mix to incorporate.
   
8. Pour contents of bowl into a small/medium sized baking dish.  I use my Le Creuset 9 inch, 1 1/8 quart Oval Dish. Or you can seperate it into two smaller dishes if you are having a party and want to set them out in different places. *Tonight, I am seperating them and  freezing them both to cook later. If you do this, about an hour and a half before you plan on baking them, set them in your fridge to thaw a little. Cook as instructed below.*
9. Smooth out dip mixture in dish so the top is flat.
   
10. Sprinkle with a little Italian seasoning.
11. Bake in oven for about 15-20  minutes or until edges are a golden brown and dip is bubbling slightly. Remove from oven and sprinkle a layer of shredded cheese on top. Return to oven until cheese is completely melted.
12. Remove for oven, let cool for about 5-10 minutes or as long as you can hold off on tasting.
    

Serve with bagel chips or bread from recipe above. Give guests small serving spoons to scoop out and put on top of bread or chips to avoid having chunks in your dip.

You can also prepare this dip the day before, and store in your fridge covered in saran wrap.

Enjoy!!

…That is all

Fuck…