San Antonio fails me again

Wow. September 3rd was the last time I posted! Whoops! I have been neglecting the blog world for a couple weeks. My usual free time at work that I would fill with blog reading and web surfing has instead been plagued by actual work, whining and more work.

What?!?! Do actual work AT WORK?! NO way! Yes Way.

I was given the pleasure of taking another business trip to beautiful San Antonio, Texas the week of September 21st.

I bet you wanna know how my trip went? Too bad. You’re reading anyway.

My flight out of BWI  on Sunday was delayed over an hour because it was “raining” in Atlanta. Apparently it was misting. Since when does mist delay flights?

I finally get on the plane, and am sitting in the middle seat all way in the back. By the potties. YUCK. Of course, I get stuck between to extremely large people- one being a girl about 19 years old and the other an older lady, probably in her 60’s. I got to my seat after the old lady. I was hoping no one was going to sit next to me so I could move and spread out. No dice.

The girl couldn’t walk down the isles without turning sideways.

Now I have no problem with fat large people, but I thought after a certain size you had to buy two seats?? She tried to sit down and had to push down REALLY hard to fit into the seats. Her rolls were spilling out over the arm rests into the isle and my seat.

I had to sit with my arms pulled in and in front of me the whole flight like a sardine in a can.

When she had to get up to go to the bathroom, she had a really hard time getting out of her seat. I felt bad for her. She seemed really nice! Of course people were staring, and every time she bumped into someone she apologized and looked embarrassed.

Someone shoot me if I ever get like that.

To put the icing on the cake, someone had to take a massive shit in the bathroom about 30 minutes into the flight. I could HEAR the moaning. When they opened the door, the stench wafted out in an imaginary cloud like someone just threw nerve gas into the plane or something. I had to shit there, right by the shitters for the last hour and a half smelling remnants of whatever Granny had for lunch before she boarded the flight.

It. smelled. SO. BAD. I’m pretty sure I threw up in my mouth a little.

The culprit?

The little old lady sitting next to me.

Yuck.

The rest of the week consisted of me hacking my lungs up and using enough Kleenex to blow my nose to fill a city Silo.

I asked the cleaning ladies for a box 5 times.

I worked a little too.

This trip was LE SUCK.