Why I am not voting….

…no comments from the peanut gallery about how dumb I am please.

So I have been told I am wasting my vote in more than one way. (I am not voting.. so its not being wasted.)

People keep telling me “it’s a privelage for you to vote. Women fought hard for “us” to have the right to vote.” Ok. Well… It is a PRIVELAGE. Just that. Not a requirement. Not an obligation (at least I do not feel I am obligated). A privelage.

I am not voting because::: both candidates suck. The presidential elections remind me of high school. Running for student council president to be exact. The popularity contest. The empty promises of bigger lockers, better cafeteria food, longer lunch breaks, more recess… stupid things like that that never change. And while in high school, the students really had no power to change anything because it ultimately came down to the school’s decision and the whiny parents who complained about everything; the President of the US DOES have the power to change things.. But it’s not about making America better for the average people who live here and pay taxes.. It’s about seeing how much money you can make a year.. How many people you can get to fund your campaign.. Not doing stupid things to get the media’s attention… And about making empty promises, stupid tv commercials bashing the opposing candidate like they are in a school yard fight telling “your mama” jokes.

I have become empathetic to politics. Stuff pisses me off.. But I am one person.. And no, one person cannot change the world. You can try…. but its not going to happen. I do not aspire to change the world. I’m more worried about keeping my job in the downsliding economy.. about being able to pay my bills… afford rent (when I do move out).. about surviving. Regardless if I vote or not, one of them is going to become President.. and bad stuff is going to happen.. We are going to pay higher taxes or have even shittier health care benefits.. We are going to continue to fund the war in Iraq and give money to other countries who are facing poverty and need help.. Instead of paying off our own debts and making sure our own people are safe and secure before we worry about everyone else. Why don’t the presidential candidates save all the money they raise for their campaigning and pay off debts.. Donate money to people who need it.. Use THAT money to help bail companies out of debt that our government forced them into. 

Ugh. I am sick of people getting mad at me for not voting.. OR telling me if I DO vote, and write Kermit D Frog in that I am wasting my vote. If I want to waste it, that is MY privelage.

Life…. and death.

I have been unwantingly neglecting my blog lately. Luckily I have been somewhat busy so my self-reasoning for doing so doesn’t seem like a total excuse…

My great grandma died last weekend. She hadn’t been doing well, and fell again and ended up in the hospital. Sometime Thursday or Friday night she went into a coma, and then early Sunday morning passed away. Mom had already instructed dad to buy plane tickets before they heard she had passed…but were too late getting there..Mom and sister flew out to Arkansas Sunday morning and were there by the afternoon. The funeral was Wednesday and they were home by Friday. My grandma (Nanny) and my mom were VERY close… Nanny was like a mother to her… so my mom took it pretty hard. She was also supposed to start chemo last week, but cancelled everything to go to Arkansas.

She is doing chemo at this exact moment. Hopefully it doesn’t make her feel like crap.

Can you lose empathy? Stop feeling sympathetic for people? Feel like you just don’t give a shit anymore? I don’t know where all my sympathy and empathy have gone.. but I feel like I just get mad now whenever bad things happen. I don’t feel sorry for anyone anymore. Maybe it’s just my way of coping. I was mad at my mom for going to Arkansas. One- because she cancelled chemo. And I know she was VERY close to Nanny, but it is hard to feel bad about the death of someone who was 88 and wanted to die anyways and who lived a very good life- when your own mother is dying. I didn’t want her to skip her chemo. The tumors under her arm grew quickly… its ALL throughout her body… she shouldn’t wait. I’m glad she is starting today. But anyways. I am sad that my grandma died…. but I haven’t cried. And I’m not really that sad. I mean, she lived a great life. She was happy. She wouldn’t want anyone to be sad about it or cry… So when my mom told me she died, I said “I’m sorry momma.” Thats it. No other emotion. How am I supposed to feel? She was my grandma and I loved her… but we weren’t that close.. I hadn’t seen her since I was a Junior in high school… I think if I had gone to the funeral people would have been mad at me for not crying… I can almost guarantee that I would have been smiling.. not a devious- im a psychopath smile.. but a ’she is not suffering anymore and is happier in heaven with Poppy’ smile. I wouldn’t have joined in when everyone started singing her favorite songs.. I would have been the one to hold my mom while she cried.. All the while steaming inside because she was skipping chemotherapy.

Oh well.

Zac and I also went to the Jim Beam festival last weekend.. So when I heard the news about my grandma, we were in Hanover, Maryland tasting various liquors and beers and eating delicious food.  I felt like I should have been there for my mom– but at the same time, I HAVE been there for her through everything… and I just wanted to have a fun weekend for myself with my boyfriend and not worry about anything else. We got a hotel room.. and hung out at the Festival for awhile… It was fun! They had seminars you could go to.. unlimited tasting…lots of food vendors from the area… other vendors to buy stuff from.. I ended up not drinking too much.. They didn’t have much of anything I liked to drink.. But I learned how Courvoisier is made.. how whisky and burbon are made.. and got to taste a bunch of different varieties. Courvoisier is disgusting by the way.. I would never pay that much for a bottle of something that tastes so foul and burns that much when you swallow it. After we got bored of alcohol, we went to the Arundel Mills Mall and walked around there for a bit.. They have Medieval Times and Dave and Busters!! I have always wanted to go to Dave and Busters.. So we went! We spent quite a bit of time in there… there were WAY too many little kids running around.. but it was fun. After Dave and Busters we went to DuClaw for dinner.. It is a local brewery in the mall and they have a restaurant too. Like Gordon Biersch. It was pretty good. After dinner we went back to the hotel and watched some TV and slept. Woke up the next morning and came home.. It was a good weekend! I am happy we went. And I tried some nasty beer that tasted like someone poured coffee in beer.. The coffee part was good– the beer? Not so much. Beer is not my drink of choice.. ever.

This weekend is Halloween. I am disappointed no one in my family likes to dress up or decorate anymore. I love halloween! We have been invited to quite a few shindigs this weekend.. but I think we are going to keep it local (my lovely Stafford local) and go to some neighbor’s parties and hang out at home… Maybe I will dress up a little.. maybe not.

The weather is getting sucky now.. It’s cold and rainy… and I am dreading having to wake up earlier every morning to scrape ice off my car windshields.. Ugh. Not fun. Too bad our garage doubles as a storage unit for everything but our cars.

Perhaps I should get some work done now…

Slacking…3 things

So I have been neglecting my poor little blog lately.. So much has been going on, but at the same time– nothing has been going on! Ugh.

1. I am not moving into my apartment now! My mom guilted me into staying home longer.. telling me she really needed me now and will need me more when she starts Chemotherapy (which is next week btw). She is not having any more surgeries- except her reconstruction if everything goes as planned. She decided to just do Chemo and possibly radiation to get rid of everything. The cancer is pretty bad. It spread throughout her entire body… but she doesn’t want to look like a chopped piece of meat. And neither would I. So hopefully the Chemo works! Keep your fingers crossed for her!!!

2. I emptied my savings account and bought a brand new car. 2009 Honda Civic Coupe Baby! It is hot. And silver. And did I mention that it SMELLS like a new car?! Which is the bestest smell ever! My mom haggled them down on the price pretty well. They wanted $20,400something before taxes and all that other crap.. and she got it down to $17,500 (taxes, title, etc included) and I got $5000 back for trading in my Solara.. Which sucks- but it had TONS of miles on it. It definitely drives MUCH better than the Solara… but there is NO shock absorption whatsoever. Whenever i go over bumps on the highway, its like being on a roller coaster. And since I had to be cheap and got the LX instead of the EX, the sound system sucks balls. But oh well. Beggars can’t be choosers!

My new car!

So now I’m poor AND living at home even longer! Whoo!

3. Zac and I went to Markhoff’s Haunted Forest with my boss and her son on Saturday.. I love that place! Its a nice 1.5 hour drive into Maryland… but it was fun! They have a bunch of stuff for you to do while you wait to go into the forest too. Boss lady’s Son and I did the zipline and Zac and son did the rock wall! I love Halloween.

That is all for now.